How To Book A Restaurant Table Without Using AI
This article contains an incredible "life hack" on how to make any restaurant visit memorable. I call it "talking to people".
In a recent talk on the capabilities of AI agents, Open AI CEO Sam Altman raised a common example of what these agents can be used for, booking a restaurant.
Booking a restaurant isn’t very hard and only takes a minute or two, but in Altman’s example, the agent would call up 300 restaurants to “figure out which one has the best food for you”. Whatever that means. This is the CEO of a company currently burning through billions of dollars a year, talking about booking a seat at a restaurant.
In a world where everyone calls 300 restaurants every time you go out for a meal, all the restaurants would of course also have AI agents answering those calls. But how would this even work and why would there be a need for it?
And by the way. Tech bros are being super weird about going to a restaurant. Just go to a restaurant, it doesn’t have to be the perfect restaurant every time. It’s not some sort of process that needs to be optimized. Go to a restaurant, have a meal, get something nice to drink, and talk to people.
If you really want to use AI to book a restaurant, having it browse online and book a table makes sense. Yet in Altman’s hypothetical scenario, it’s implied that the AI would need to call because some details about the restaurant aren’t available online. Now picture this conversation between two AI agents:
“Hello, I’m calling on behalf of Mr. Numwit. He’s too much of a moron to book his own restaurant table. So I would like what’s good on the menu today?”
“Yes, of course. Today’s special is the Entrecote, it is succulent, and even if I can’t taste it, the owner of the restaurant has informed me that is quite special.”
“Magnificient, I’d like to book a table for this loser and his friends. They’ll be sure to enjoy the succulent steak”
Like how is this helpful? This interaction could go on indefinitely, with one AI asking questions to another AI pre-programmed with sales pitches. The Agent would return to you and say I’ve called the 300 restaurants, according to themselves, they’re all fantastic. 187 of them have a table available. Which one would you like?
Writing this, I am reminded of a quote by Kurt Vonnegut that has been making the rounds on social media for years now, where his wife suggests he should buy a hundred envelopes online instead of going out to buy them all the time. He goes on to explain that he has a hell of a good time going to buy envelopes as in the process he can talk to people, pet dogs, and observe life. The quote ends with “The moral of the story is, we’re here on Earth to fart around. And, of course, the computers will do us out of that. And, what the computer people don’t realize, or they don’t care, is we’re dancing animals.”
How To Actually Book a Table
In my 20s I worked at numerous restaurants, cafes, bars, and fast food joints. I’ve done everything from working as a waiter, bartender, barista, and chef. I’ve also traveled a decent amount, and eaten at a lot of restaurants, so I know how to book a table.
For an important occasion booking in advance is fine, but I will teach you a little trick for most times when you want to go out to eat. Don’t book online, don’t call. Actually, turn off your phone and leave it at home. Now go outside and find a restaurant. Walk up to someone who is eating at the restaurant and politely ask them if the food is good. In the age of isolation that the widespread usage of phones and social media has ushered in, some people might scoff at you, but talking to people used to be completely normal, Weird right? If they say the food is good and the food looks good, go inside and ask for a table or maybe a seat at the bar. I sometimes go out to eat alone, and seats are usually available for us loners at the bar. If you haven’t gone out to eat alone, I would recommend it. It’s great.
If you’re not impressed by the food or happy with the answer. Move on to the next restaurant and repeat.
But let’s imagine that people start using AI to call 300 restaurants every time they go out to eat, and restaurants have AI to answer the calls, the process consuming vast amounts of energy for some time as simple as booking a table. You get to the restaurant and use your phone or better yet, smart glasses to scan a QR code and order food. A robot then cooks your food in the kitchen and another robot wheels the food out to your table, and you can start eating your literal AI slop, a term which now has a new meaning. What would be the point of having restaurants at all? In this dystopian near future, it would make more sense to have a robot cook the food for you at home. Is the point of going to a restaurant to just have a meal and a drink? No. If that was the point, the concept of a restaurant, a bar, or a coffee shop would have failed in its inception.
I know some people will disagree with me, and I realize that fewer and fewer people can afford to eat in restaurants in the current economy. Especially in America, the concept of eating out is deteriorating. Fast food and chain restaurants are taking over, people order cheap, soulless, and nutrient-poor food through apps that get delivered to your door, and the idea of tipping your waiter or just paying to eat at a nice restaurant is now seen by many as a needless luxury. But I think humans will start realizing again soon that we need to also feed the soul, and that cannot be done through an app or by eating a hamburger flipped by a mechanical hand.
Booking a restaurant online is fine if you want predictable, but using a chatbot for these kinds of things will start to rob you of the human experience at a certain point. Going out and talking to people will lead to much more fun. Unexpected things will happen. I have a longtime friend that I met because we asked if we could have a beer at their table at a bar. I’ve also had dinners or drinks with incredibly interesting total strangers that I’ve met in line at restaurants ( Not-so-humble brag: I even ended up having drinks with this legend). It’s also led to some not-so-great times, but we are currently in a time where people are being divided and our differences are pitted against each other. We are increasingly seeking safety behind screens, and social interactions are seen as scary to a generation that has grown up on the internet. So the next time you’re going out to eat, talk to people. You’ll quickly learn that the chatbots are scarier than the people.